"At least you have your health..."

We've all heard the adage, right? It's sort of silly, when you think about it though. Is the thinking that if you're healthy, you can probably face anything? And truly, what on earth does this mean?

I find that now that I've put the restraining order on all things cancer and chemo, I seem to have less to write about. While it may seem like this renewed health has sapped my creativity, I think my lack of interesting things to say is really more of a lack of things to bitch about. Not that I bitched much anyhow... I suppose it depends on who you ask and on which day.

Today I decided to see if I was ready for mascara. After pushing my face as close as possible to the mirror and giving my eyelids a couple of half-hearted swipes with the wand, resulting in a couple of clumps of black below my eyes and about half a dozen eyelashes that miraculously appeared, I resigned myself to the fact that it just wasn't time yet. Out came the q-tip to rescue my few and humble eyelashes from unnecessary goop. Perhaps next week.

I did, however, thankfully decide that it was time to shave my armpits. Spot on, with that decision.

I have a couple of very close friends who are going through some challenging times right now. One was recently betrayed by someone she decided to trust and let into her life. Another is struggling with trying desperately to find the balance of her own happiness in juxtaposition with that of her family's while struggling with the chance that these two could be polar opposites. Yet another, after the trials and tribulation of in-vitro and a difficult pregnancy carrying triplets, recently gave birth, extremely prematurely. She lost one of her babies, and the other two tiny lives continue to fight. How does one say "congratulations" and "I'm so sorry" at the same time? It's so difficult to know that people you love are hurting, and in the big picture, there's not a damn thing you can do other than let them know you care. Sometimes it just doesn't seem like enough.

The irony of it all is that I made the comment, "Me? I've got it easy with this cancer stuff." It certainly feels that way sometimes.

It was a beautiful morning - warm enough to hike comfortably yet cool enough to enjoy the bite of the morning air. It was the first morning that sunrise finally came before 7:00 am (OK, so it was 6:59 exactly) and the first weekday morning as long as I can remember that we ventured up Telegraph Pass. It was a strangely quiet morning on the trail and we didn't see another soul on the entire hike down. The morning gave me yet another chance to take a minute to reflect on how fortunate I truly am these days. Sure, I have another PET coming up in March. And the truth is, I'm scared to death. I don't want this respite to end, and I know I'll take it hard if it has to. Then again, that's all the air time I'm going to give it until the scan is scheduled and I'm waiting for results. At least, that's my plan.

In the meanwhile? I'm going to enjoy the weather as much as I can as it's currently the type of weather people move out here for. I'm going to look forward to seeing the wildflowers for the first time on our Superstition Mountains hike this weekend.

I'm going to continue to be thankful in ways I can't express for finding the right love at the right time. That in and of itself is no small feat.
And right now? At least I have my health...

2 comments:

    not only do we have our health, we have each other... and I will NEVER, EVER forget to be thankful for that fact. I love you, Jen. Thank you for loving me back! :)

    You have eyelashes and you have hair growing and we do have each other....and we ROCK! I'm so glad that I have all of you to lean on if needed. Makes life a whole lot sweeter.

    Kisses to all......